Published in General

Taming the Insight Kraken By Fusing Text Analytics with Data Science

If you’re ready to take text analytics to the next level, join us for this in-depth discussion on the advanced analytics services that can turn the abyss of unstructured data from a monster into a muse. But be sure to bring a rain jacket…It could get rough!

Watch the taming of the Insight Kraken By Fusing Text Analytics with Data Science Webinar here.

Lights come up as two warriors slowly approach each other.

KURT

Hark! Who goes there?

BRION

It is I, Brion, Head of Text Analytics. And who are you?

KURT

Ah, Brion, good to see you again. I did not recognize you in this light. It is I, Kurt, Head of Advanced Analytics. What brings you here, into the lair of the dreaded Insight Kraken?

BRION

Just that, the very Kraken itself. I come to tame it.

KURT

Why, I am here for the very same purpose! The Insight Kraken holds the collected responses of all who provide customer experience feedback. But what a beast! Enormous in size, constantly growing and changing, a chaotic mass of knowledge and noise. But if it can be tamed, think of the powerful insights that could be obtained!

BRION

I could not agree with you more. The promise of the riches resulting from bringing structure to this unstructured beast is what has led me here.

KURT

Tell me, Brion, have you brought any weapons with you to use in subduing the Kraken?

BRION

Of course. Attempting to tackle the Insight Kraken without being properly armed would be utter madness! I am not so foolish as to enter this battle unprepared. I bring with me… this!

Brion reveals a spear with three prongs.

KURT

A… pitchfork?

BRION

(Indignant)

A pitchfork?! Do not be absurd. This is a trident – powerful enough to rival that of Neptune himself!

KURT

Forgive me, no offense was intended. I have just never seen one quite like that. What makes it so powerful?

BRION

Ah, it has been crafted by my team of wizards known as the Text Analysts. Each prong contains the power of one of the three main text analyses we perform: Auto-categorization, Keyword analysis, and Sentiment analysis. Armed with this text tool triumvirate, I believe the mighty Insight Kraken may indeed be tamed!

KURT

Impressive!

BRION

And what about you? Surely you must have come bearing a powerful weapon of your own.

KURT

Indeed I have… Behold!

Kurt holds up a staff

BRION

A… stick?

KURT

(Indignant)

Do not be ridiculous! Do you think I would bring a mere stick to battle the Kraken? This is the Advanced Analytics Staff of Knowledge! Built and maintained by my team of wizards – the Marketing Scientists. Look closer, my text-loving friend. Do you not see the formulas, equations, predictive models, multi-variant analysis techniques, and yes, even SAS and R code? With the knowledge and processes encoded in this advanced analytics arsenal, I hope to conquer the dreaded Insight Kraken!

BRION

Very impressive! It shall be interesting to see which of us fares best in the battle with the beast. Interesting that we have arrived at the same time to attack the Kraken. Tell me, how did you come to be here on your heroic quest at just this moment?

KURT

Ah, I am here at the behest of the mighty and mysterious Doctor Fish, leader of all Services that are Expert in nature. His message came to me in a vision… or perhaps it was a video conference call… Anyway, Doctor Fish requested, nay, demanded that I focus my energies on taming the Insight Kraken, and that I come do battle with it at once.

BRION

Why, Doctor Fish is the one who sent me on MY quest to tame the Kraken. Why would he send us both here to battle the Kraken at the same time…

KURT

Unless he intended for us to meet up and join forces! Of course! While our weapons are powerful independently, imagine what could be done if we combined them.

BRION

Brilliant! This could be the advancement that finally allows us to tame the beast.

A horrible roar echoes. It sounds like the combined voices of millions of customers providing their customer experience feedback, begging to be heard and acted upon.

KURT

The Kraken! With a joint attack, we shall be…

They both raise their weapons

KURT AND BRION

VICTORIOUS!

They charge into the darkness as the lights come down